What fanfic writers and readers realy want 1,2and3
by LifesADarkArt
Summary: Draco and Hermione's search for better fanfictions. The cleches we all cant help but love and the rediculouse fanfiction plots We re-read even after we know every possibility. The endless search for somthing original. You know what I mean.
1. Chapter 1

**It's a fanfiction and it's the best you'll ever read. btw this is a joke.  
**

Draco slapped Hermione across the face with the force of a bulldozer. Hermione whimpered and Draco took satisfaction in her pain. Then he pushed her down on to his bed and began to undress.

"No, please don't." Hermione cried.

Draco slapped her again for good measure to make shore that her incessant nagging was at an end. Hermione granger needed to learn to keep her mouth shut for once, her opinions would not save her today.

After removing the rest of his clothes in the new silence he pointed his wand at Hermione and used a spell witch made her clothes poof into shreds. Everything but her bra and her panties was now in shred around her. He left the last two articles to be removed through his own physical labor.

His member suddenly hardened at the thought of baring the fruit of his labor in such a way. He looked down at Hermione and didn't bother to hide his smile from the awed look she was shooting at his enormous throbbing penis. Then as she looked up at his smile her awe became fear knowing that he intended to work her pussy till it was a swollen mess with that massive cock of his.

He got on the bed and layed over her and once he got between her legs, it took only two only a seconds to rip her remaining clothes off before getting ready to enter her. He smiled with satisfaction, never liked hard labor.

He thought about whether or not he should just shove it in or give her time to adjust to his size. He pushed his head against her lips and tested to see if he had the control it took to grant her mercy. And it seemed that he did. He pushed his way into her slowly. She was a tight lipped virgin and he had to force himself in with care. Her pussy resisted the whole way but finally he she took him to the hilt. He looked down at her pain mixed with pleasure expression as he began to pull out and back in slowly. She was loving it and at this he thought away the idea of mercy and began to pound her harder. She cried out in what sounded like pain but when she grabbed at his ass and pulled him into her harder there was no mistaking the want she felt for him. He put a hand to her throat and chocked her lightly which she answered with a moan of satisfaction. And then

* * *

"Okay okay stop!" Draco said sounding disgusted.

Hermione tuned away from the computer screen and laughed. "See I told you these fanfictions were trash." She said

"well forgive me for thinking that muggles would have a somewhat better image of me than that. I mean I was nothing like that in the books. And what's with all the stories about you and me?" he said sitting down on Hermione's bed. She got up from the computer screen and laughed.

"Ya, well imagine how offended I am about being your little submissive slave. I keep thinking, how can people live with themselves after slaying the English language like that?"

"I agree. People should just never write this garbage again."

**The views expressed by Draco and Hermione are only half mine and more what i think they would say. I love fanfiction and i'm writing these stories in hope of improving the past time itself. Please read the Second part and see what Draco and Hermione read next.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Best fanfiction ever part 2**

**For those who read my first story: **_**'What fanfictions writers and readers really want'**_** Here's my second installment of Hermione and Draco sifting through clichés. As for the title it was meant to be the search for good fanfictions. **

**Btw some of you didn't get it but it's all a joke. If I didn't indulge in these kinds of fanfictions I wouldn't know how to make fun of them would I? So don't send me flames about how I'm knocking other fanfictions cuz I'm not. But I don't blame you, I understand that it wasn't clear the first time.**

PLOT LINES:

Hermione looked herself over in the mirror and huffed a dissatisfied sigh. She was ever so boring and extraordinarily plain, what with her bland school uniform on, that all the girls wore, but seemed to wear better than her. Not to mention her bushy hair that resembled a long misshapen tumbleweed. And let's not forget the deep purple, blue bags under her eyes from studying day and night since she of course had no life.

Hermione Granger needed a change of course. And what better way to change than to learn to act and dress like a total slut. But who on earth would she ever go to, to learn the art of seduction and infidelity? Why of course, none other than Draco Malfoy, the resident sex god of Hogwarts, after all learning these things from another woman such as her best friend, Ginny, would be almost too logical and we know how illogical Hermione is. So she stomped over to Draco's room, because of course they were both Head Boy and Head Girl, and as such, shared a common room.

Draco was sleeping in his room when Hermione burst through the door.

"Malfoy, wake up, I need your help!" Hermione yelled.

Draco groaned, sitting up, and was about to retort, when she continued, "I've just realized how terribly ugly I am. How could I have been so blind? I need your help to become a sexy slut. You're my only hope Malfoy."

Draco considered this for a moment and deciding she was right and that he also needed his sleep, he quickly agreed. "Fine Granger, we begin tomorrow. Now let me get some rest."

Hermione left the room in a better mood and woke up bright and early the next morning to find Draco in the common room, already waiting.

Draco circled around her like a vulture, and finally deduced what needed to be done. "First of all Granger, you look horrid. Let's work on your fashion." Draco took out his wand and pointed it at Hermione. With a whisper of a spell Hermione was suddenly transformed. Her hair was silky smooth and her clothes weren't three sizes too big. Draco for some reason always had impeccable fashion sense, and knew how to clean and quaff. He wasn't gay or anything he just knew what to wear and how to accessorize. So he picked out hip-hugging jeans that covered a seductive red thong and a tight white tank top, simple, yet sexy. Draco was taken aback by his handiwork. Hermione was sexy. No wait, how could Draco ever think that of her, after all she was still a mudblood and your heritage obviously affects your physical attributes. So he pushed the thought into the back of his mind and watched as Hermione surveyed herself.

Hermione looked up at Draco, amazed at his magical ability, and for the first time she realized that he was actually quite a beautiful wizard. What with his steely gray eyes that could rival the silver moon; and his blond hair, as gold as a vast wheat field. She had just noticed how thin, but muscular he was. Probably by all that quidditch, although she couldn't figure out how flying on a broom could lead to such toned bodies. But then, feeling disgusted with herself for having these thoughts, Hermione brought her attention back to the task at hand. "What's next?" she asked reminding herself that Malfoy was nothing more than ferret boy.

"Next, Granger, is seduction." Draco sat on the couch and motioned her with, well, a 'come hither' gesture. Hermione silently obliged. "Straddle my lap, Granger."

Hermione looked shocked, but did as was told.

"Now," Draco began, sneaking one arm around her waist and his other hand in her thick, honey brown hair, around her neck. "Kiss me."

Hermione flushed as she blushed. {a/n: actually read that in a fanfic once}

"Malfoy…" Hermione began, but she knew that this was good for her, that she needed this. At the moment she couldn't quite remember how this would help, and she knew not to trust Draco, but this seemed to be the right thing to do; so she leaned in and kissed him.

Neither of them expected the explosion of passion that ignited between them. At first their soft lips melded together, and then her tongue probed for entrance, which he granted, unquestioningly. Their tongues massaged and wrestled one another. Hermione began to fear that their tongues would tie themselves together; after all she'd never kissed anyone before, not like this. Draco reached under her top to massage her globes, her loins exploded with moist heat. Draco's pants began to tighten uncomfortably… near his crotch.

Draco pulled her down on the couch and repositioned them so that he was on top between her legs. Draco's mind was yelling at him to stop, but after having sex with millions of people he realized this one was special. _Could this be love?_ No it couldn't be. {a/n: for the sake of the story, I'm skipping the denial portion} Or maybe it could be. In fact he was sure it was.

{a/n: to save us some time} Hermione was pretty much on the same page.

Hermione could feel her bookish ways slipping away as his hands slipped her pants away. She was finally becoming free. Free of her studious confines. Her plan was becoming a success. Before they knew it, the height of their passion had rendered both naked.

Draco held his cock to the _folds of her sex_. (wtf) "is this your first time?" He asked, concerned.

Hermione nodded silently, her old bookworm nervousness returning for just a moment, before she remembered 'I'm no longer that girl. I transformed along with my clothes.' So she grabbed onto his bum to pull him in, making sure he knew that she wasn't afraid.

{a/n: For user ba-joon} "Do you want this?" he asked.

"Yes, I want this." She replied.

He hesitated, then entered.

"Oh Draco…" Hermione moaned. And draco almost exploded inside her at the utterance of his given name.

"Here I finally thought we had a plot, and now we're back where we started." Hermione sighed, closing the page and scrolling down to the next summary. "Only spoke to each other twice and then magically 'could this be love?' what kind of story set up was that?" Hermione huffed in frustration.

Draco shook his head in disdain. "I don't know why you keep trying."

"There's bound to be one good one out there, I'm sure of it." Hermione defended.

"Just because it's out there doesn't mean you're going to find it. With 400,000 harry potter fanfictions on this damn website you think you'd find-"

"What about bookworm and the beast? That one was pretty good." Hermione started. "Besides, we finally started finding some with plots, there's got to be hope."

"Bookworm and the beast isn't even complete, which most fanfictions aren't. Why start a story if you can't even- well anyway, go on keep on your search." Draco said with a wave of a hand.

"Oh you just wait, I'll find one… one day." Hermione laughed.

**The search continues…**

**Well just about all the stuff I wrote in this one are things that I have actually read at one time or another. Hope you have some feedback so R&R.**


	3. Chapter 3

**1,000's of ppl have read my stories, why is it that i dont have a thousand reviews. i mean it ppl, just take the time to review the stories you read and life on fanfiction would be better. **

**here's the story:**

Genre: All

Character A: Draco M.

Character B: Hermione G.

Rating: M were the only things she entered.

Page: 1 of 291

Hermione scrolled down the screen of the computer, looking for a summary that could catch her eye but for some reason most of the summaries repelled her.

The Poorly Written, Over-Dramatic Summary By KillMeNowIm2Sad _Reviews_

Hermione has absolutely no hope. Her life has become a dismal abyss because she was raped. Now she's on drugs and cutting herself to ease the over exaggerated suffering. Can Draco save her?

Rated: M – English – Extreme Drama/Angst – Chapters: 25 – Words: 76,796 – Reviews: 3 – Updated: 6-15-09 - Published: 12-15-08 - Hermione G. & Draco M.

The Way Too Many Questions Asked Summary By iHopeurCuriousEnuff _Reviews_

What's wrong with Hermione? Is she going crazy? Will she be able to face her life? Will she be able to face Draco? Is he her savior? Will he love her? Will she love him? Read to find out…

Rated: M – English – Drama/Romance – Chapters: 5 – Words: 5,458 - Reviews: 2 –Updated: 6-15-09 -Published: 3-19-09 - Hermione G. & Draco M.

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I'm Insecure Please Read It And Tell Me It's Good By Lucifer'sDraco _Reviews  
_

Please please please please read my story. I swear it's not that bad. Please R&R. You'll like it. Oh, don't forget to R&R. Sorry I forgot to tell you what the story was about but R&R anyway. (a/n: i got you guys to read it.)

Rated: M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 1 – Words: 768 - Reviews: 33 –Updated: 6-15-09 - Published: 5-21-09 - Hermione G. & Draco M. – Complete

Too Vague and I Wonder Why I Have No Reviews By cantExplainMYStory _Reviews_

It's 7th year and Draco and Hermione are about to realize their feelings for one another. R&R

Rated: M – English – Drama/Romance – Chapters: 1 – Words: 1,198 - Reviews: 0 –Published: 6-15-09 - Hermione G. & Draco M.

Forgive Me I'm Bad At Summaries, Summary By IprettymuchDIDNTtry _Reviews_

Ok. So Draco does stuff and Hermione Does stuff too. Sorry not good at summaries…

R&R

Rated: M – English – Romance/General – Chapters: 2 – Words: 2,248 - Reviews: 5 –Updated: 6-15-09 - Published: 6-1-09 - Hermione G. & Draco M.

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Ok, Wtf. Why is This Happening? Summary By WayoutThere69 _Reviews_

Hermione and Draco discover love. Warning: Lemon, Slash, Lime, Rape, Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll, Mary Sue, Alcohol, Yaoi, Yuri, Mpreg, Abuse, and many other ridiculous things that don't have a name which I just created in this one story. Oh and ooc. R&R!

Rated: M – English – Drama/Poetry – Chapters: 2 – Words: 4,374 - Reviews: 116 –Updated: 6-15-09 – Published: 11-9-88 - Hermione G. & Draco M.

Hermione looked at the last one trying to remember what each of the fan fiction lingo words meant and still couldn't figure out a few, but was sure that she didn't like the sound of any of them. Why couldn't people write a short summary properly? I mean sure, it's hard to tell your whole epic story and make people want to read it. Especially when you can only use three sentences to do it, but there had to be a better way than this.

Draco returned to the room with a couple of cans of soda. He put one down in front of her and sat in a chair next to her at the computer desk.

"Well?" he asked.

She huffed a heavy sigh, picked up her can of coke and popped the top. "Nothing…" she answered solemnly before taking a sip.

Draco shrugged and popped his can open and sipped. Hermione looked at him curiously. "What? You have nothing to say? You're not even going to tell me that you were right?" she asked, putting her can down and turning back to the computer screen.

He shrugged and answered honestly, "Well, after reading all these stories with you, I'm kind of eager to find a good one now too. I mean, how many have we read in these past few days? Some of them just lacked, well… talent… but the idea's were good… when they weren't a repeat of the last 50 we read." He then sipped his can casually.

Hermione was flabbergasted. "Are you sure you won't mind? I mean, I know you didn't want to be here in the first place and then I sit here and get all addicted to these silly fan fictions…" she said, watching him closely.

He set down his drink and answered, "Well this is becoming more of a vacation than a job now anyway, and it's not like I can't go out into the muggle city if I'm bored of being stuck in the apartment, so it's fine. Hermione was staring at him and things became a little more uncomfortable, so he continued, "After all, it's pretty interesting to see how Professor Rowling's story has been butchered. Who knew her retelling of the war would become such a success? Not that a lot of the rich and powerful of the wizarding world are too happy with her exposing our kind like that, but the muggles are as convinced as ever that it's all fable." Draco picked the best distraction for Hermione: Wizard politics. Hermione nodded in agreement and began a rant. Draco smiled. 'Fan fictions weren't all too far off the mark,' he thought.

Eventually they found a story with a well-written summary and gave it a chance.

* * *

**how many cliches can i fit into a chapter**** by keepCountWithMe**

The day had been stressful with Draco watching her every move. She remembered what had happened just a little earlier.

**(1) **_Hermione was walking down the hall minding her own business when Draco suddenly reached out from an abandoned broom closet and pulled her in._

_"Malfoy, what are you-" Hermione began but was silenced by his mouth._

_The next thing she knew his hands were everywhere at once and she for reasons she couldn't quite understand yet had not fought him when his hands were sliding her panties down._

Hermione shook her head trying to get rid of the memory. **(2) **It was only lucky that a group of noisy first years had come down the hall and broke her from her trance before it was to late.

**(3) **Hermione was in need of a shower so she went into the heads' bathroom and turned a few taps that had scented water. She had undressed and stepped into the warm water feeling once again calm and content when she realized that she **(4) **had forgotten to lock the doors to both her and Draco's rooms. But what the heck, she was already in the shower after all and Malfoy was going to be at quidditch practice for another hour at least so there was really no need to worry. Besides Draco may be a total wanker to her, but she for some reason trusted him enough not to walk into the bathroom when the shower was obviously running, because, it had been proved by the earlier memory, that Malfoy had all kinds of decency, so she relaxed into the water and began **(5) **to lather her hair.

**(6) **Draco on the other hand had just entered his room having been let out early from practice because of ridiculous weather conditions. As he stripped off his soaking uniform he decided **(7) **he could do with a shower. He pulled out some fresh clothes and was heading toward the bathroom when he noticed the the shower was already running. He stopped at the door and huffed an annoyed sigh.

Well **(8) **he wasn't going to let her get in the way of his shower and could hardly believe that the door came right open when he tried the handle. Could Granger have really been that stupid? He looked up at her in the shower washing her hair and answered his own question.

**(9) **Of course, because her head was under the water (giving her hair the longest and most thorough rinsing you've ever read about) she didn't hear him enter, didn't hear the shuffle of him setting down his things, didn't hear the heavy foot falls coming closer, and for gods sake, she didn't even hear the shower curtain being drawn back, and before she knew it he was there, pressed behind her.

Hermione screamed and **(10)** Draco covered her mouth with his hand.

"Not so loud Granger, I'm not even in yet," he whispered into her ear and before she knew it, **(11) **she was backed against the wall trapped by his hard body and the cold tile. Her wrists were secured in his tight grasp and were being held above her head so she couldn't struggle.

"Stop" Hermione whimpered as he sucked on one of her breasts.

He lifted his head for only a moment to reply **(12)** "You know that's not what you want," before he continued his assault on the other side.

Then **(13) **Hermione realized it for the first time in that moment that he was right. She did want this; how else could she explain her inability to tell a teacher that she was being sexually harassed by Malfoy for the past month. It was because she wanted it all along.

Hermione began to cry "You're right," she whispered. "I want this."

Draco looked up into her tear filled eyes and was **(14) **suddenly overcome with an emotion he wasn't quite sure he'd felt before (because he's a Malfoy and obviously not human. No, he was closer to an alien race more than anything.) but he knew right away that it was guilt.

Hermione's tears began to fall freely as she **(15) **relaxed her body, giving in and taking what he was offering. Malfoy **(16) **ignored the tightness in his chest and kissed Hermione angrily to try and staunch the pain he was feeling. She moaned into his mouth and instead of feeling triumphant, every utterance of enjoyment she sounded made the hole in the pit of his stomach grow more hollow. He couldn't do this.

He **(17) **pulled away from her and watched her trying to catch her breath. He was panting too, but for other reasons. Anger and regret were at the top of that list.

Hermione was the first to speak after the silence had lingered too long. "Whats wrong?" she asked starting to feel increasingly embarrassed, remembering her nudity.

Draco **(18) **didn't know what to say and for some reason the truth blurted from his lips before he could stop it (Very unmalfoy like).**(19)** "It was a bet," he whispered as he backed away from her.

Hermione looked beyond shocked. "What? A...a bet?"

He looked up at her, tears filling her eyes again and **(20) **wondered why he was hurting so much at the sight. He lowered his head in shame, (another new feeling), as he answered her "Yes." He couldn't even look at her anymore and he didn't understand why but he felt like he should explain.** (21)** "blaise and I-" he began but Hermione **(21) **was already pushing past him.

She grabbed a towel and ran from the bathroom slamming the door behind her.

**(22) **Draco stood there in shock. His chest ached and he knew at that very moment that the only way he could feel the way he did, and say the things he'd said was because **(23) **he, Draco Malfoy, was falling in love with Hermione Granger.

* * *

But again it was unoriginal and written with little thought.

They had a heated discussion about how people should try writing out their whole story and then post each chapter, and decided that people enjoy that they didn't have to think ahead for a fan fiction; After all, fan fiction was created so that everyone could have fun and they agree that overall everyone should write what they want and have fun but they shouldn't just do it so haphazardly. Eventually though, Hermione and Draco decided to add one more story to their favorites list. In total now, they had five.

Date by Proxy By Anne M. Oliver

Blindsided By Secretdiary

Broken By inadaze

Pure Lunacy By xylito

And because Hermione found a good Draco/Harry story and to Draco's dismay

Secrets of a Forbidden Broom Closet By anthea rose

Due to these few stories they were sure that there had to be more. Of course they they settled on the fact that most if not all fan fictions were flawed in there own way, but there was definitely hope for the future.

**thanx every one for helping me get this far. as always r&r. i love your comments! and help add to hermione and draco's favorites list too. tell me a story you love and take a look at the ones i mention above. also i'll get around to telling you why draco and hermione are hanging out together as i go along. **


	4. Chapter 4

Thanx for all the reviews. im taking notes on what to incorporate into the fourth installment, so make sure to read and review.

give an opinion on what you love and hate about fanfics! even tell me about other horrible fanfics you've read. give me good titles to read.

btw, just so you know, around 1 of 11 readers review. for you other 10 out there who plan on just leaving this story without reviewing, just take a moment to write atleast one word. if you think that my fanfic is good than help other people think it might be good too and stop at my crappy summary and think 'hey, this has a lot of reviews, maybe i'll give it a chacnce.'

if more people reviewed then fanfiction would be a better place becouse of it and more writers would feel inspired to continue incomplete stories. as a reader, do your part and as a writer, help others out cuz you know how good it feel to get a review, be it praise or even flames. its just nice to know how many people are really reading my story.


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